If I Could Turn Back Time
by LaViaggiatrice
Summary: On November 1, 1981 at 11pm, Remus decides to try and fix everything. Or an epic retelling of the series with all of our favorites alive. *****Rating is for Adult Themes: Heavy drinking, depression, death******
1. Chapter 1

A violently crumbled newspaper falls to the ground while a distinctive 'pop' echoes in the air. Bruised, hungry, disheveled, and in a state of total disbelief, Remus lands in front of the destroyed visage of a once familiar house. He chokes on a breath, too emotional to even make a sound. He apparates again, this time to the Leaky Cauldron and runs straight for the ministry. A hand reaches out to stop him feet from the entrance. His chaotic mind takes in the long beard and the half moon spectacles. The wizard is apparating both of them before he can react. The next thing Remus is aware of is the soulful lament of a familiar phoenix and a cup of tea being pushed into his hands. He recognizes the china and the furniture as part of the headmaster's office.

"Forgive me for the sudden apparation Mr. Lupin. But I felt that the scene in the ministry may have been too much for you. I have been awaiting your return, given the circumstances." The piercing blue eyes held so much sorrow Remus found himself choking again.

"Tell me its not true professor. I...I..can't...oh god..." The shock finally wearing off, tears flow freely and stunt the werewolf's speech. "How did he find them? I can't believe...Sirius would never.. Oh god! Sirius! Where is he?" Tea sloshed over the side of tea cup as Remus moved it to a coffee table before him.

"There are many things that you need to understand Mr. Lupin. The events of last night were unpredicted by all of us. The first thing you need to understand is that Mr. Black was not their secret keeper." Remus started, but Dumbledore cut him off. "Two days ago, James and Lily and Sirius came to me. They decided that with circumstances being what they were, that it would be best if Mr. Black was not their Secret Keeper as he would be the obvious choice. Believing the best safety lie in a plan of trickery, they made Mr. Pettigrew their new Secret Keeper before settling into what they believed to be peaceful hiding." The headmaster took a sip of his tea observing the information registering on his companions face. Remus' already pale features turned slightly green.

"Pe..Peter? No...No...NO HEADMASTER NO! That would mean... that would mean. Ack.."

"I'm afraid so Remus." The exhaustion on the older wizard's face shattered Remus' heart more." It seems that our Mr. Pettigrew was the leak we have been chasing for months. I do not believe any of us thought him capable." Remus nodded shallowly.

"And Sirius? Where is he? Where...where is Harry? The Prophet said he lived but..." He busied his hands with his teacup, thankful for the calming drought he could taste inside, silently wishing for something stronger.

"I'm afraid Mr. Lupin that this news will be difficult to hear." He watched for signs that the potion had taken effect. "Upon hearing the news himself, Mr. Black ran after Mr. Pettigrew and they had a showdown in the middle of a busy muggle neighborhood." Remus' body doubled over in anticipation of what would come next. "The surviving muggle claimed-before their memories were modified- that Mr. Black was angry to the point of being unhinged. They had words the muggles couldn't hear before Mr. Pettigrew shouted "How could you kill James and Lily like that Sirius?" Before a large blast blew in the street, killing twelve muggles and leaving nothing but Mr. Pettigrew's finger." Remus felt his jaw open in shock.

"But...Sirius would never."

"The muggles attested that it seemed like both had their wands raised. In any case, Mr. Black was taken into custody..."

"Let me see him! I need to see him! I can vouch-" Remus' voice cracked from emotion and terror, he stood shaking and hysterical before Dumbledore.

"Unfortunately, before I could make it to the Ministry to help, Mr. Black was issued the kiss, and shortly thereafter executed." This information hit Remus with an almost brute physical force. He fell back to his seat ashen and dazed. This time the tears flowed silently.

"Mr. Lupin, I cannot begin to imagine what you are feeling-"

"Harry, wheres Harry? They say he lived?" The whisper forlorn as a paddle boat in a hurricane.

"That is perhaps the miracle in all of this. Harry is alive yes. It seems that Voldemort aimed to kill was destroyed. Harry is fine, he has a scar on his forehead from where the curse must have hit him, but he his alive. Minerva and myself delivered him to Lily's sister this morning."

"How?" Defeated and broken, Remus could barely feel relief that Harry had at least survived.

"While I am sure we will never know for certain, I believe that Lily and James sacrificing themselves for Harry created a sort of protection spell on Harry. And this spell backfired on Voldemort destroying him instead. Although I cannot be sure."

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose, the shock wrapping around him again. Feeling every one of his years and the months he had been on assignment. Standing and turning away from the other man, he stifled a new onset of tears.

"Forgive me Headmaster, I need to be alone, and I don't think I will be able to return to the field." Not waiting for an answer, Remus helped himself to the Floo, returned to the Leaky Cauldron, pushed his way through throngs of drunken revelers and walked into the cool afternoon air of muggle London. Finding the revelry spread through every main street even in the muggle world, he apparated at random and recklessly. Finding a quite street in what he believed to be south wales, he allowed himself to actually walk. It was not until he felt silence of an empty back alley that he allowed himself to crumble.


	2. Chapter 2

The seductive smell of roast and bread pulled a loud, body-shaking growl from Remus' stomach. Used to the feeling of being hungry with no appetite, the wizard made to ignore his stomach, which growled again in protest. He then realized he couldn't remember his last meal. Pushing from the ground, the creaks and pops of his joints recuperating minutely alleviated his headache. Robotically following his nose, he found the cafe that smelled of roast and tried to smile at the older woman who put him in a quiet booth at the back of the restaurant. Bringing him a beer ("If I've ever seen a man who needs one before...") and a bowl of soup, he ordered his meal and tried to recall why he thought silence was the best thing for him. Distracting himself with his food, his mind jumped from fragment shard to fragment shard of memories. He adamantly refused thoughts of a strong jawed, devastatingly handsome smile, usually paired with wild gleaming grey eyes. He tried not to focus on vibrant green eyes and messy hair and moons spent frolicking the forest. Viciously tearing into the meat before him, he searched memories of his meek school friend. His heart broke trying to sift through times much happier looking for a sign of the betrayal to come.

If Remus were honest with himself, he could recognize that the signs of Peter's inevitable deception were always there. Always in the shadow of the other boys, Peter was frequently cast aside in favor of his friends. Remus could see it, he could see how the rest of the world treated Peter, he just thought it was enough for him to be apart of the group. Like how it was for him. James never thought less of Peter. The Other one certainly stuck up for him when he was bullied. And it was Peter's artistry that helped them craft the map! He was one of them! THEY WERE BROTHERS. Rivulets of foam stream down his jaw as he throws his beer back. Remus was glad Peter was dead. It saved him the trouble of finding him. He barked out a mirthful laugh. He could feel himself spiraling.

Paying the nice older woman, Remus returned to the brisk night air and wandered down the street. His scattered thoughts stumbled his feet, while the loud, pounding music from the club in front of him drew him through the door. Taking the last stool at the edge of neon pulsing bar, Remus began drowning his chaotic nerves in the type of cheap vodka a pair of lively grey eyes would have scoffed at.

The seven empty glasses before him twinkled in the still pulsing lights. Bodies moved and flushed all around him and he still couldn't rid his mind of the pain. Saluting the barkeep who seemed to understand his needs, Remus downed another shot, slamming the glass on the bar.

"Oh Moony's trying to tie one on tonight." Twinkling eyes and a heart stopping grin spun Remus' brain. He turned his head, to be met with messy hair and a familiar shrug.

"I dunno Pads, our Moony'd never do something so reckless." A wink flashed him behind black frames. Remus stood shaking and the action tilted him off of his feet, grabbing the bar he looked up to find his hallucinations gone. Inhaling gulps of stale, sweaty air to regain himself, Remus felt his stomach lurch. Looking around widely, he eyed the loo across the room. Not caring about anything but his turning stomach, he apparated just inside. A stroke of luck had the room empty and he threw himself onto a commode, laying half out of the stall, the contents of his stomach pouring out of him. The shadows returned.

"Poor little Moony can't hold his drink."

"You'd think Pads, that the ever polished Moony would conduct himself better."

Remus swiped at them dissolving them once again. Righting himself, his eyes flitted over the dark smudges under his eyes and the hollowness of his cheeks. He worked his way through the gyrating, throbbing throng of dancers back to his stool where the knowing barkeep placed a water and a plate of stale chips. Nodding once again, Remus devoured the greasy wedges and downed the water. Pulling too much money from his worn wallet, he turned to leave the bar. The words of a slow song playing broke through his haze.

"If I Could Turn back Time..." He didn't know the song, must've been new, he really didn't pay to much mind to muggle music. But the words. The words broke through the last bit of alcohol induced haze. The beginnings of a plan started to form in his head. The spirits appeared beside him.

"Looks like our professor Moony has an Idea Prongs!"

"This is why you are the brains of the outfit Monsieur Moony."

Not bothering to wave them away this time, Remus made his way out of the club and to a quiet alley. Looking around to make sure he was alone, he once again apparated just behind the Leaky Cauldron. As he has figured, much of Wizarding London still seemed to be celebrating in the streets. The lights and amount of people made the hour seem much earlier than it was. The young wizard took heart that his Notice-Me-Not spell was first rate and cast it over himself.

The walk to the doors of the Ministry was quick and as suspected, there was a distinct lack of guards. He made his way past the watch desk where two guards and a janitor were trading shots and war stories. Remus sneered to himself. Disgust welled inside of him. Most of these people had refused to acknowledge the war not a month ago. It was only the advent of disappearances that made the public finally notice. Moony kept walking and took one of the lifts down. He thanked a previous internship for his knowledge of the building. The lift dinged and the darkness of the floor encouraged him forward. Glancing a clock and marking the hour at 11pm. He made his way to the archived display in a back room and flicked his wand to turn on the lights. The wall of gleaming metal hourglass shaped artifacts winked up at him. Reaching out with a still shaking hand, he took one at random and looped the chain around his neck and apparated to the ally behind the Three Broomsticks.

Sending a silent prayer to whomever would listen, Remus turned the device 96 times.

So along with being my first fic in a billion year, this is also my first Marauder fic. It has the capability of being epic. I want to rewrite it (like all of it, all of HP), and if you have figured it out yet, I want certain people alive when I do. (Also, if you're an old timer, you know who I ship and who to look out for, but that will be WAY later-like after my retelling of DH. My mains for this fic are Wolf Star and Jily.)

If this is something you want to read, please please please review. I have a lot on my plate and while this idea has been eating at me for weeks, I need to know people will be reading it.

 **Also, since I am in planning stages of the entire saga I need to hold a poll.** I have a side plot idea to redeem Petunia and Dudley and I think it would be cool to place Dudders at Hogwarts. Not as a main group member, but just there as a supporting character to pop up from time to time. Vernon will not be anywhere near this fic. **Anyway, if this interests you please review with a 'Yes', if you don't want to see his face, review 'No'**

 **Disclaimer:** Obviously I am not JK Rowling. JK would NEVER HAVE LET MY POOR MARAUDERS LIVE TOGETHER IN HARMONY! UGHHH

I also do not own the song If I Could Turn Back Time. Also Also, If I Could Turn Back Time is an Anachronism (Yay SAT words!) here. It was released in 1989, but since I can do whatever the hell I want, I am saying that it was around in time for Moony to hear it and devise his master plan.

Also also also, this has not been edited I wanted to see the interest and wanted to get the poll started. So please forgive me, I will fix later!.


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